real father
WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS EVEN MEAN? And just imagine some potential scenarios. For example, mom – presumably the Real Mom – could end up having some awkward conversations. The Bride don’t forget she is a “girl” in the conventional wedding-guide lingo) – what’s SHE going to say? Does the Real Dad get stuck footing the bill? Or does the Not-Real Dad have to fork over some $$$? Oh, and also: WHAT THE HELL?
Where did I find all this stuff? Here’s a list:
The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette: A Guide to Contemporary Living – revised and expanded by Letitia Baldridge – ©1978
Emily Post’s Complete Book of Wedding Etiquette – Elizabeth L. Post – © 1982
Sane Sex Life and Sane Sex Living: Some Things that All Sane People Ought to Know About Sex Nature and Sex Functioning; Its Place in the Economy of Life, Its Proper Training and Righteous Exercise – H. W. Long, M.D. – ©1919 (published by – WTF? – the Eugenics Publishing Company)
Wedding Etiquette Properly Explained – Vernon Heaton – © 1966
What Every Married Woman Should Know – William J. Fielding – © 1942 (Volume V of the Rational Sex Series) (If anyone knows where I can get Volumes 1 through 4, please let me know.)
(The show Women’s Work, which includes these pieces, opens today at Positive Space Gallery in Tulsa. The gallery will be open 5 – 8. Please stop by if you are close and wondering what to do.)
from the Transferrable Property series
vintage photo, scanned and edited
off white
Oh, Amy Vanderbilt! You are at once so bold when you declare it used to be “absolutely taboo” for a second-time bride to wear white, yet at the VERY SAME TIME, you hedge your bets by clarifying that by “white” you mean only “off white.”
And in case you missed yesterday’s post, here’s a recap on what I am attempting to do with this series of images:
Presenting my emerging work Transferrable Property, an evolving project that examines the traditional expectations of weddings (in particular) and marriage (in general) and the way these societal suppositions fall harder on women.
My written source material comes from wedding etiquette books that were published between 1924 And 1982. The books almost uniformly referred to unmarried women as “girls;” the language shifted to “brides” after marriage. There are an uncountable number of rules for women (because I am not going to say “girls”) to follow but a trifling number for men (who, by the way, are never referred to as “boys”) to abide by.
The visual source materials are found photos from rural Texas, mostly made during the 1980s. I purchased the negatives when a photography studio went out of business during the pandemic.
The resulting project consists of digitally manipulated images overlaid with quotes from the written materials. The quotes were selected because I found them hilarious or infuriating. Or both. A lot of them were both.
The project asks viewers to share my eyerolling at the archaic words; my outrage at how microaggressions sneak in and become normal; and my frustration at all of it.
(Included in the group show Women’s Work that opens Friday July 3 at the Positive Space Gallery in Tulsa, Oklahoma.)
from the Transferrable Property series
vintage photo, scanned and edited
no poaching
Today’s the first of three images from my emerging work Transferrable Property, an evolving project that examines the traditional expectations of weddings (in particular) and marriage (in general) and the way these societal suppositions fall harder on women.
My written source material comes from wedding etiquette books that were published between 1924 And 1982. The books almost uniformly referred to unmarried women as “girls;” the language shifted to “brides” after marriage. There are an uncountable number of rules for women (because I am not going to say “girls”) to follow but a trifling number for men (who, by the way, are never referred to as “boys”) to abide by.
The visual source materials are found photos from rural Texas, mostly made during the 1980s. I purchased the negatives when a photography studio went out of business during the pandemic.
The resulting project consists of digitally manipulated images overlaid with quotes from the written materials. The quotes were selected because I found them hilarious or infuriating. Or both. A lot of them were both.
The project asks viewers to share my eyerolling at the archaic words; my outrage at how microaggressions sneak in and become normal; and my frustration at all of it.
(Included in the group show Women’s Work that opens Friday July 3 at the Positive Space Gallery in Tulsa, Oklahoma.)
from the Transferrable Property series
vintage photo, scanned and edited
city holidays
This wall looks like it’s made of damp cardboard. Or a bunch of OSB panels.
Lubbock, Texas
photographed 3.4.2026
magenta crown
Tom Robbins wrote some of my favorite books. I once co-wrote a poem titled “A Tom-Robbins Novel Kind of Obsession” that got its start from the book whose main character was a silver dessert spoon*. I know some people’s urine smells a particular way after they eat asparagus**. And I know a LOT about the graphic design of Camel cigarette packaging***.
One of the main things I think about, though, is how the character Switters**** holds the frequently-voiced opinion that the “tropics are just too goddam vivid.” Switters’s declaration was right there in my head when I made this photo.
And that poem? I appreciate your interest in it, but it is not safe for human consumption.
West Texas Master Gardeners – garden tour
Lubbock, Texas
photographed 6.20.2026
*Skinny Legs and All
**Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas
***Still Life with Woodpecker
****Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates
One Day | One Image 